You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Randomize
