YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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