Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
