I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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