Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
