I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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