you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
