he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
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I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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