oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
