Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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