Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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