elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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