I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
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