Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
