found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Two words: blizzard sex
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
