her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
being pregnant is like rehab
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize