im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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