i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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