meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
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I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
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I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.