Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?