i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
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She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
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Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.