Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story