You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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