I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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