If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
