Swine flu. Run for my life!
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
