Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
