Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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