True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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