spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
