did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
