he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
