Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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