The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
