im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
this just has baby written all over it
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
