We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
