Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
