yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
