he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
