wakey wakey hands off snakey
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
babies were throwing up all over the place
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize