I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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