carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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