1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
