I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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