i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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