i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
