She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Randomize