I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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