Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i think i have two assholes
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
