Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
