Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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