My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
