i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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