Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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