What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
