playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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