The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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