I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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