I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
