Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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