I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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