Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
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i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
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A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
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