Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
