Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
