you win again, gameday.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
