It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My ATM looks so different sober.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
