I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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