Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize